I love learning about each and every one of my clients, but every so often, someone comes along with a really special story to tell.
I recently caught up with one of those clients who visited me a few years ago and it was a touching reminder that what I do isn’t just ‘taking pretty pictures’ and that the photographs I create for my clients really are incredibly important.
This lady brought tears to my eyes as she told me what she’d been through and how precious the photographs I’d taken were to her. So I was delighted when she agreed to putting some of her thoughts into words for me to share with you. Here’s her story:
(Please note, the photos used in this blog post are for visual purposes only and are not related to this story.)
I remember how nervous I was reaching out to Katie to ask her about a maternity photoshoot. Not only because I’m camera shy! But would she understand what I was looking for?
My situation was a little unusual. The baby I was carrying wasn’t my son. I was pregnant as a surrogate for friends who had been trying to build their family for over 15 years. Due to covid it had been almost impossible to share the pregnancy with baby’s parents as much as we all wanted. It was especially hard because the year before we’d sadly experienced a stillbirth. For a while, it had looked like there was never going to be a baby going home with his mum and dad.
Now we were so happy to be expecting again. I really wanted to surprise them with a few high quality pictures of the bump. The ones I was sending them taken in my bedroom mirror were OK but not quite the same!
I also knew that whatever happened, this would be my last pregnancy. With three children of my own and having carried two babies as a surrogate, my body was ready to rest. Although it was exactly the right choice, maternity photos now also carried the poignancy of ending a big part of my life.
I’d never had professional pictures taken before. Previously it had felt like an unnecessary luxury. It had been so easy to take those growing bumps for granted. Now the feelings were different. It wasn’t only because I wanted to share the excitement and joy with baby’s parents. It was also important to remember that so much grief and pain had led up to this moment. This pregnancy wasn’t just the path to a new baby. It was a moment to honour in its own right.
Katie’s website was so reassuring. Her warmth and caring personality shone out from her introduction. The pictures were beautiful. And she really seemed to understand the complex swirl of emotions that pregnancy can bring.
So I took a leap of faith. From her very first reply to my email, I knew Katie got it. She was already thinking about how to capture maternity without assuming motherhood. How to respect my role as a surrogate. We could be joyful because this child was a cause for tremendous celebration. And we’d be sensitive to love and loss as well. The fact that a donation from every fee went to Footsteps Counselling and Care was another sign that I was in safe hands.
On the day of the shoot, I was pampered and made to feel completely at ease. I didn’t need to explain how I was feeling. It was almost unbelievably comfortable and reassuring to spend time with Katie sharing my story and deciding how best to record these precious memories.
With intuition as well as expertise, she perfectly captured the intimacy of carrying a much-loved child on behalf of my friends. Each image acknowledged the bittersweet reality that they weren’t able to experience their son’s pre-birth moments in the same way many parents can. Underneath it all, there was a peaceful acceptance that the journey here had been long and hard. We weren’t at the finish line yet – but we were here right now and rejoicing as hard as we could.
Baby arrived safely the following month. He’s now happy and thriving at home with his family. We exchanged the titles of “intended parents and surrogate” for “mum, dad and godmother.”
My life has changed forever in some ways. I don’t believe the events I experienced could leave anyone the same person they were before. Hardly anyone mentions the two boys I carried who weren’t my babies these days. When I want to remind myself of the time something really amazing happened, I open the photobook from the day I met Katie.
This lady was one of a few maternity clients who came to me in the months following my own pregnancy losses, each of whom had experienced the same grief and anxiety over their pregnancies. I can’t really explain why, despite being in the midst of my own struggles, I remember feeling that I was the perfect person to help them celebrate getting to that point which, at times, they hadn’t believed was possible.
I’ve never gone on to have any more babies and although there’ll always be an element of sadness there, I am now in a great place; I feel incredibly grateful for the beautiful boy that I do have and the life that I now lead. My experiences have shaped me as a person and they make me uniquely qualified to offer sensitive support to those clients who have had their own unusual and difficult pregnancy journeys.
I want to finish with a huge thank you to my lovely client for allowing me to share this piece. You are an amazing woman.
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